so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
be right there i have to get my cape
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
