NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
