There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
