It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
