I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
