Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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