so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
