I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
