I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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