Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
