Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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