I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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