I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
