Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
