Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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