I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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