Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
