Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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