well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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