thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
