stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
