We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
