i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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