I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
