Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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