Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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