But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
