Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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