When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
