Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
