I think im going to throw up on grandma
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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