I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
