You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
