Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
