Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
