i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
