It was confusing and full of hummus
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
