I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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