The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
