I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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