I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
