I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
