is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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