her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
