I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
