Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
