I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
