i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I need moral support for this bender
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
