i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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