I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is Oprah even human
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
